Really?

I lost a coaching client last week because he understood what I was doing. I was working with a talented therapist and she referred him to me. We talked once and then she asked him if he wanted another session. He answered, "No way, he's too real." I think he was on to something. If you desire coaching or spiritual direction, you can take it from him and me that the deepest intent of my work is to help you be more real. Happiness is collateral benefit, not always possible and financial success in post-Bush America is certainly not guaranteed. But reality is the direction we're going. My understanding of the Enneagram is that our Enneagram style is a coping skill that works sometimes and sometimes doesn't. When it does not, it is because we are not being real.

The other day I made some recommendations for 2010 resolutions. For style Five I recommend, male or female, that you do some weight-lifting. Your body is not just to hold your head up so you can read books and screens. Deal with it.

For Sixes I recommend you fast from the news as much as you can stand. The commercial news reinforces paranoia and worsens your suspicion that the world ended some time ago and you're just finding out about it.

For Sevens, I recommend you do one symbolic thing slowly: eating or walking or dressing or whatever. But slow down in one activity of your choice.

If you do this, you get to be more real.