Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Gettin' hip

One of the ways to loosen the hold our Enneagram style has on us is by mindfulness - becoming aware of patterns. Simple information doesn't quite cut it. If you have an iphone, there is a new app to play with to increase your mindfulness. Here is a link to an article that explains how it works.

http://www.alternet.org/story/149169/vision%3A_can_human_beings_drop_their_divisive%2C_reactionary_thinking_and_move_to_a_higher_level

Friday, December 10, 2010

RAS

A root of our problem in life is our reticular activation system. Didn't know that, did you? RAS is the neurological setup at the top of our spine that filters and expedites certain messages and piece of information before (aye, there's the rub, before) it reaches our neo cortex and the free choice that that organ allows.
So if you suspect your RAS is causing you problems, look for bringing forward into today what was a problem pattern for you as a child. When you keep getting the same information, you keep having the same problem.
So just take a look at how you define a problem you have and think back...does this pattern remind you of a childhood pattern?
The beauty of the Enneagram is that it gives you pretty strong hits about what patterns you are probably acting out as an adult. So...given your RAS filter how might you relax that pattern a bit?

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Agere contra

"Agere contra" is Latin for acting against one's impulses as a means of personal growth in spirituality. Here is an example from William Atkinson: if we wish to conquer emotional tendencies in ourselves, we must assiduously, and in the first instance, cold-bloodedly, go through the outward movements of those contrary dispositions we prefer to cultivate.

With Enneagram sophistication, we understand there are perils to that. We might be able to alter and improve a small behavior pattern, but usually when we try to change, we use our Enneagram energy in the service of changing something we're doing because of our Enneagram style. A style one will be self-critical and then resolve to stop, but will criticize every effort to change.

Factor of 10

Why is change so hard?
One reason is that we are hardwired to see what we have seen before, hear what we have heard before and think what we have thought before. Homeostasis is the neurological and chemical tendency to maintain the status quo.
That's why the educational research shows that it requires 10 times the psychic energy to unlearn something as to learn something.
So any learning that doesn't "fit" our previous information is difficult. That applies to simple cognitive data (the price is wrong) or the muscles needed to learn to thread a needle, shoot a free throw or drive a car.
Practice does not make perfect: it makes consistency. Practicing doing it wrong makes you do it wrong more consistently. Watching Fox news makes you perfectly Republican. Watching Bill Maher makes you perfectly angry.
Reading all sides of a question is tiring. But that's the way to go.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Overlay

When we assign or infer an enneagram style, that's not as accurate as when we discern a style in a person.
However, it has some validity; when I coach North Americans I keep in mind the Three characteristics of the countries (US and Canada. I've not coached any Mexicans). No matter what the basic style of someone is, you can see an overlay of cultural characteristics.
For example, regardless of the style, many Americans give me a blank look when I ask them what they have that they didn't work for. Especially if they are politically conservative, they assume they worked for everything they have. They ignore race, gender, health, opportunity, IQ and all sorts of systems that support them - both political and natural.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Reality, really?

In most futile arguments, one of the most common telltale phrases that indicate this is going nowhere is "Well, the reality is..."
Every Enneagram style has, in a minor key, its own reality. An argument is precisely about what is real. If one side insists that his/her reality is THE reality, then no real discussion can take place. The only way to have a discussion is to ask "what is your reality?" Reality here means where do you place your weight, your emphasis, your concern, your primary values etc.
The "reality" is the conclusion, not the starting point.
One of the lovely benefits of learning the enneagram is to realize that what is real for one person is quite different from what is real for another.
One way to get at the reality concern is to learn, by osmosis, inference or direct questioning, what is at stake? What does the other person think might or must happen if they don't get their way?

Monday, November 29, 2010

Nines are beautiful

Nines have a natural modesty that they sometimes push too far -- into "I don't count." They see assertion as something that will get them into trouble. Self advertising seems "pushy" or in bad taste.
I recommend to all you Nines that you have a blooming flower in the area you spend the most time. Flowers are nature's way of advertising. "Here I am!" is the alluring component of the flower's color. Nines must allow themselves to bloom. It won't hurt at all.