I love to watch basketball, especially my team, Kansas. But I cringe inside every time I hear some coach or fan say that sports are like life. Here's how they are different:
First of all, sports are highly regulated and supervised so that the competition is fair. If Walmart competes against a boutique or you compete with your older sibling, it is no more fair than high school seniors playing the 4th graders in a sporting event.
Second, participation is voluntary. Participation is life is mandatory.
Third, you start over at zero every game. In life if you competed unsuccessfully in math in the 3rd grade, now you lack those skills in the 4th.
Fourth, sports have referees and umpires and a jillion rules. Don't you wish you had a referee at your job or in your family?
Fifth, sports usually have only one criteria for winning: points. Effort, pleasure, creativity, sportsmanship are not posted along the bottom of the TV set: just the score. In life, we have multiple criteria that are often overlooked.
Sixth, in sports, the game ends, in life, you never get to quit.
Seventh, in sports the good guys and bad guys are clearly labeled. In life, people change sides without changing jerseys. Think Joe Lieberman.
Eighth, in sports what is good for you is bad for them. In life that is seldom true.
Ninth, in sports, all the action is public. If life, much of the action is out of the sight of others. Think sex, politics and banking, for example.
Tenth, in sports the rules are public, unambiguous and agreed to by both sides. In life you learn the rules as you go along, they change by context and are not clearly defined.


The reason this is important is because the United States is a 3 culture and we have a belief that competition is good. Competition is usually destructive for some of the reasons above and others that I'll talk about later.
When I coach, I take context seriously. Any problems we have are contextual as well as personal. The "rugged individualism" of the US is destructive, especially if people are having a hard time. We blame the individual, not the context. But that assumes life is fair, like a sporting contest. Nope.