Relate

A beloved nephew, Cy Monley, married Saturday. In addition to the jubilation proper to the occasion, one can consider if the Enneagram has anything to say about marriage or relationships. The usual question is, "What types have problems and what types are most compatible.
The answer is easy. When the people are healthy, their types don't make any difference. What the Enneagram articulates is "if they have a conflict," then "here's how these types decay into conflict."
This is a specific application of the general principle: when we are on our game, we live in the present, act and react appropriately and forgive each other when either doesn't do either of those: act or react appropriately." Appropriate is one of those weasel words like "reality," that defies definition because it is context-dependent.

A fabulous researcher, Gottman, could predict whether or not a couple could have a happy relationship by language analysis. A good Enneagram teacher could come close by discerning how deeply fixated each style was. The first clue one looks for is rigidity. If either party has standard, inflexible responses, trouble brews. It doesn't matter if the response is to hide, to fight, to run, to do anything. If that is their 90% pattern, the couple has little chance.
But flexibility, a wide range of options on how to handle any situation, will be a sign of health that bodes well.
I wish Cy and his new bride, Christina, all the riches reality can bring. From what I can discern (which I've told him is a lot), they are going to be delightfully happy.