Great Expectations

When things go predictably wrong, others say to us, "Well, what did you expect?" What was predictable to them somehow escaped us. You dated her, you invested there, you looked for a job someplace -- and when it didn't work out, a friend looks puzzled and asks, "Well, what did you expect?"
Each enneagram style with its worldview and focus of attention, has implicit expectations. You will save yourself a lot of mistakes, and possibly heartaches, by knowing what your expectations really are. Our expectations are powerful. Every wise boss knows that his or her expectations become, for many employees, marching orders. Every spouse knows that the expectations of the other simply must be considered or trouble will follow.

I'll give you an example or two, but in addition to your Enneagram style, you may have some expectations that are personal to you. If you are a Six, you expect things to go wrong. Sixes routinely take precautions, insist on detailed disclosure and relish backup plans because they "know" (they expect) that things will go wrong.

Fours frequently expect to be rejected. Remember the old story of the man who had a tire go flat out on a country road? He didn't have a jack to fix the tire. He was about a mile from a farmhouse and all the way to the farmhouse he muttered to himself, "He's probably got vicious dogs, he is probably in bed already because it is almost dark, he probably doesn't trust strangers" etc. He finally got to the house, there were no dogs and when he knocked on the door, the farmer stuck his head out the window and asked what the trouble was. "Keep your damn jack!" the man shouted. We all have some legitimate fears of rejection (remember your first date?) but Fours really expect rejection.
Therapists use an interesting word, "pull." If we expect something, we unconsciously "pull" for it, because we "know" that attitude or behavior is there and we want it out in the open.
So check your expectations. You're going to get some of what you expect.