Process

Each of our enneagram styles is a form of rigidity. We assume from the past without paying real attention to the present, we react to the present situation with practiced regularity. We meet a stranger and assume s/he will or will not like us, we hear a story and react with fear/rage because of the way we interpret it.

It is hard, terribly, to change these rigidities. One way is by concentrating on what you're trying to change as a process. Not failure or success, but effort that may bring some success. I find affirmations improve things with this approach. Instead of a frightened Six saying "I am courageous," it would be better to say, "My courage is getting stronger." "I am courageous" will feel like a lie to your unconscious so your affirmation will be either ignored or a cause of shame. But "I am getting more courageous" is probably true and acceptable to your unconscious.

The journey, not the destination.